Mental Health & Unplugging

This past Friday, you may have realized that I didn’t send out a blog piece. Rut-roh! Where were you, girl?

I went to Bulgaria to meet up with my brother, my sister-in-law, and my hysterically rambunctious nephews. “What’s in Bulgaria?” you may ask. The people I just mentioned have roots in Bulgaria, and spend their summers there and that was enough for me and my family to pack up and head out on an adventure. This past Friday, you may have realized that I didn’t send out a blog piece. Rut-roh! Where were you, girl?

I went to Bulgaria to meet up with my brother, my sister-in-law, and my hysterically rambunctious nephews. “What’s in Bulgaria?” you may ask. The people I just mentioned have roots in Bulgaria, and spend their summers there and that was enough for me and my family to pack up and head out on an adventure. For this trip, unlike every other trip we’ve taken, I had no running agenda of what we needed to tick off and explore. I had no expectations other than solid quality time with loved ones. What we got was more than we could have imagined. What we got was more than we could have imagined. We…

Visited stunning medieval castles in Veliko Turnovo...

…that hosted spectacular light shows at night, which gave visitors historical insights into an Orthodox Christian country that faced the shifting of tides with the rise of Communism in the 70s & its subsequent downfall. 

Went to The Illusions Museum…

…where our collective five kids had a blast and took tons of funky pictures designed “for the ‘gram” as kids nowadays say.

Soaked up the sun at a picturesque, all-inclusive resort on the Black Sea…

…where our youngest COVID kid experienced her first beach vacation and my son lost his first loose tooth with a little help from his uncle – a memory they can share for life.)

Got a glimpse into a foreign culture’s way of balancing parenting and enjoying daily life. For example, Veliko Turnovo, one of the cities we visited, has an abundance of awesome outdoor restaurants that have their own playgrounds, bouncy castles, and trampolines. This allows parents of young children to balance time with their kids while still grabbing drinks with friends. (Win-win, if you ask me.)

Tasted delicious new foods…

Such as the infamous meat sausages known as kepabche and my personal favorite, banitsas (pictured above). Banitsas are crispy, baked feta cheese, egg, butter, and phyllo dough concoctions from heaven that can be eaten as a snack, as a small breakfast bite with your coffee, or as a part of a meal with a Greek salad which might as well be called a Bulgarian salad because the ingredients are pretty much identical.

My sister-in-law’s mother, who is affectionately called “Baba” by my nephews (which translates to “granny” in Bulgarian), made us a whole pan of banitsa to warmly welcome us to BG, and it was absolutely divine. I’ve gotten the recipe but I am 100% certain I will not be able to replicate Baba’s level of perfection that just comes with decades of regular practice. 

In summary, we ate good, we spent QT with loved ones, we soaked up the sun, and I completely unplugged. 

The Aftermath

Now, if you are a type A overachiever like me, you’ll realize what an act of defiance this felt like. When I say I’ll do X (aka: send out a blog piece every week, or respond to every client email within 24-hours) and I fall short, I am my own worst critic and my own worst enemy. “You aren’t worth a dime…you promised and you failed…you suck…your goals will never materialize…” and all sorts of other self-deprecating and self-harming thoughts emerge, which then affects other aspects of life once you resurface from  being off the grid, which leads to a cycle of “unplugging = subsequent guilt = unplugging isn’t worth it.”

This was the first instance, however, where I deliberately decided ahead of time that I wouldn’t succumb to these thoughts. That I’d take my time and be joyful in direct defiance of those negative thoughts that inevitably surface in the aftermath of the unplugging. That I’d continue to find the joy & magic in writing, and in moments where other priorities, such as much needed quality time with family arise, I will deliberately and joyfully choose to prioritize my needs, instead. That I will abandon the laptop at the Black Sea and make sandcastles with my kids instead of playing third-party observer to life. 

And that, my friends, is what I will encourage each and every type A overachiever in this reader community to do: allow yourself the grace and space to say, “I will be adjusting that goal because that’s what I actually need.”

In that vein, I’ll be sending bi-weekly articles moving forward. This will allow me time and space to do my other work that earns money for a living and strike the balance that feels just right. Call me Blackilocks.